Fashion Fast Week #6 - The February One-Two Punch!

February is my favorite month! Primarily I favor it because I was born in February. However, I always liked how closely it is positioned after Christmas and before Valentine's Day. This stems from my youth when I'd get a shot at prefered presents on one of those occassions. After the 14th of February if I didn't score then it was three strikes and I'm out. So the fact that my birthday was juxtaposed to two gift giving holidays made winter even more enjoyable. And of course Valentine's Day is also another reason for a new outfit. But then again, Tuesday or Anyday was a good reason to go shopping for something new because it's one of my favorite recreational activities!

A few years back I decided that red was going to be my color for the year. I bought more red clothes, shoes, bags, boots, and jewelry than you can imagine. I looked like "uh bloody beet" as my British friends would say. I picked out all shades of red and all different textures from red patent leather boots to a red velvet blazer; red leather pants to a silky red dress; red jeans to red headbands. And that's a very short sample of my scarlet scores! So when it came time to find something to wear on Valentine's Day, I had no shortage of something red to wear. And oddly, I wore black with a slight splash of red accessories!


I was put to another test when I went out shopping for a few Valentine's gifts. I made my first trip into the clothes department. Uh-oh. Spring styles are already on display and there are so many cute new looks that caught my eye. But I remained focused. It's not about me. It's not about me. It's not about me. I kept repeating this in my head as I completed my gift search. It gave me a lot a pleasure to shop for someone else and get to flex that dormant muscle for a minute!

When I started this process I decided to not purchase any clothes for the entire year. I allow myself to buy accessories and thought I'd be brimming in trinkets to dorn the clothes I already have, but I haven't. While Valentine's shopping I bought my first allowable items of the year. For it to be six weeks into 2010, I thought that was pretty good! And I bought underwear, a slip to be more specific. Now I'm not fond of wearing a slip. Whereas that may be TMI for some of you, I've learned the necessity of layering in this brutal winter, so a slip made a lot of sense.

I'm getting to the point that I'm comfortable with my choice to forgo clothes shopping this year. Each week I'm met by different challenges but none that aren't easily overcome. I do see a few  landmarks ahead that will be bigger mountains to climb. Yet for now, I take it one step at a time and keep my focus where I am today. I will deal with tomorrow's challenges tomorrow.

Oh, what gifts did I receive you ask? Not one stitch of clothing for sure!

Fashion Fast Week #5 - It's My Birthday!

I always look forward to my birthday. It’s MY day plus it’s always great to be able to celebrate another year! One thing that’s not so unusual for me is a shopping trip in honor of gaining another year. There’s nothing like tearing through a store buying anything that fancies me because after all, it’s my birthday! Not this year though. I practiced complete restraint and refrained from treating myself to one single item no matter how much of a tradition it is!

I was in the mood for a low key celebration. I reserve the big blowouts for the signature years that end in zero or five. So when I was surprised by and intimate birthday event at my house it was the best! So what did I wear? I had planned to go out to dinner and wanted to wear something special so I once again went shopping in my closet and pulled out a dress I’ve never worn. I was so in love with this animal print clingy number when I "had to have it" almost two years ago and it's hung in my closet, all dressed up with nowhere to go until February 3rd this year. I had visions of grand plans for it when I bought it back in 2008 and finally we shared a special occassion and a special day together. It had so much more meaning than if I'd gone out an purchased something new, once again pushing this cute litte dress to the back of the closet.

I’m starting to get the hang of this no shopping thing and finding a great amount of gratitude in the things I already have. Realizing that I have so much stuff stuffing my closets I now see the lack of need for something new. Watching all the coverage on TV of the earthquake victims in Haiti also helped me further realize that I am a part of a culture that has so much!

 

As I sipped champagne and blew out the candles and thought of a birthday wish, I focused on being happy with what I have. I’m not only speaking of clothes or things in general, but of all the wonderful blessings I have that you can’t put a price tag on. If I were to make a list I'd be writing until my hands fell off because I could never finish writing down all the reasons I am grateful!

And to add icing to the cake, friends and family gave gifts that don’t add to the bulging bars that are bending in my closet from all that I already have. They ranged from beautiful jewelry to tickets and gift cards to my favorite coffee spot. But the greatest gift from all of them was their love.

Wearing my new pearls!

Fashion Fast Week #4 NO RETAIL THERAPY! WHAT DO I DO NOW?

I complimented one of my co-workers on his charcoal ensemble and he proceeded to tell me how he only goes shopping for clothes once a year. Men. They have it easy. For the most part men don’t care about clothes shopping. It’s not an event for them or therapy to chase the blues after a tough day. Nope, it’s just functional. And the only reason this guy shops once a year is because he admitted that he tears his clothes quite often. (He’s got one of the more physical gigs around here.)

I mentioned to him my Fashion Fast and not buying any clothes this year and he was a total non-believer in my ability to make it through 2010 without shopping for new clothes, or any woman for that matter. So I politely let him know that I excluded accessories and what accessories are. He gave me a bit more of a fighting chance and I thanked him for his renewed vote of confidence in me.

Going through this process has revealed to me how I use shopping. I was having a particularly trying day for no real reason. Well there was a reason, a hormonal reason. The best cure for chasing away the madness and the melancholy of my mood would have been a quick trip to the Maxx. Ah, retail therapy. It works, for a minute. It depends on how long and how much you spend on the couch. If your receipts can stretch across the Brooklyn Bridge, then you’re going to need additional therapy after you come back to reality. If you just pick up a shirt here and a yellow skirt there, then it’s probably been a good session.


Since I couldn’t fix my day with a couple of hours dipping in and out of a dressing room, I had to just work though it by avoiding as many humans, animals, and house plants as possible. That was no fun. I had to stay away from the computer as well because online shopping quickly became a strong rival to the tactile experience of store hopping. It’s an easy evil because they bring your delights right to your doorstep on a silver platter. OK, more like a cardboard box but it seems like a silver platter when the doorbell rings and out of nowhere a new outfit finds you at home waiting and wanting. That's what Brown can do for you.

So what did I do instead of retail therapy? I watched Big Love on demand. I like HBO because it doesn’t have commercials that will remind me to go buy something and I like Big Love because I would be hard pressed to want to wear anything that I see donned on the actresses on that show, although Nicki is looking spiffy compared to the first season. But just when I thought I was safe, wife number three, Marjean is a TV hostess on a shopping channel and I started to long for a QVC fix. Instead I got caught up on who’s doing what in fictional Utah and clicked off the channel still craving a trip down the fashion aisles to look but don’t touch. Sounds crazy doesn’t it? It is.


I never took the time to realize how easy it is to shop and how many outlets there are; catalogs, websites, infomercials, shopping channels, stores. Then there are the thrifts, flea markets, and the granddaddy of all cheap spots, Canal Street in Manhattan. I work one block from the biggest outdoor market on the east coast. No, Canal Street has stores. I don’t think I’ve ever been in a store on Canal Street. They meet you outside at the front door, tackle you on the sidewalk and chase you into traffic to get you to buy from the largest selection of stuff you don’t need or want. Most of it is knock-offs that I’m not into but the t-shirts are worth the look. I’m a sucker for a smiley face t-shirt and I’m always scouring for them. And you don’t want to know how many I have. Let’s just say I could easily fill up two work weeks wearing a smile on my chest.



I’ve never been the type to put my head in the sand when faced with a tough situation and I’m not going to start now. I look for a way to work with what I’ve got. I pulled an empty notebook out of my office supply closet, which has no clothes in it by the way. I used to keep formal wear in it but I could never remember where I put them so I moved the formals to the closet in loft. Back to the notebook. I grabbed a couple of those clear plastic sleeves to put in the notebook. My activity is to clip looks I like from fashion magazines and create a style book and see if I can create the look with what I already have, or by adding a new accessory. So far I’ve been successful with it without the new accessories! So who needs retail therapy? I have a new past time of cutting up fashion magazines and putting them into a notebook to keep me entertained. And it’s just the kind of fun that works for me!

Fashion Fast Week #3 - It's Girls' Weekend and I'm Feeling Left Out!

Just when I think I’m starting to get the hang of this no-clothes-shopping thing, I find out I’ve become an outcast! Check this out. It was the first Girl’s Weekend of 2010 and I hosted. Two of my sisters and one of my best friends that we adopted as our sister visited my home for the weekend. It was a much anticipated event. One of the reasons is that we don’t all get together that often plus it’s been well over a year since it’s been at my place, Serenity House. All week long we emailed, we planned, we waited and we prepared. Then finally the weekend was here. Let the games begin!

There’s nothing like hanging out with sisters and girlfriends because those are bonds like no other. My sister’s are my best friends and there are a few things we have in common other than our parents, our thick hair, and our strong personalities. We love music and romantic comedies. We love to eat and drink. We love to chat it up and love to laugh. And of course, we love to shop! That’s what we do when we get together. And occasionally there’s some bickering but as we get older that seems to subside. So you can imagine how crushed I was when the subject of shopping came up and it was spoken under breath, “Well you can’t shop, we know you won’t want to go.”

Hey! I’m not a leper, just a girl who is consuming a little less this year! I felt like I was totally kicked to the curb, thrown under the shopping bus to the mall and left for dead. I know that the intentions were noble. I can imagine my sister felt like it would be equivalent to taking a chocoholic to Hershey, Pennsylvania and hoping they would survive. I explained that I was fully capable of going shopping with the girls and not buying any clothes. I was completely fine with watching them try on great new outfits and find fantastic bargains. I completely understand look but don’t touch. I was ok with coming home bag-less and bargain-less. After all shopping for us is about scoring the best deals. It’s not a competition but it sure is a comparative analysis!

Well if you want to know the outcome, we didn’t go. We played Sequence, watched “He’s Just Not That In To You” on HBO, and sipped champagne with lots of food on our plates. I did however want to experience the challenge of going on a shopping outing and being disciplined in the process. I wondered. Is this how the entire year is going to be? Are they never going to want to shop around me? Have I been cast off to a deserted shopping island with just shoes and accessories? What about home goods and groceries? Can we at least do that together? Don’t get me wrong. I totally appreciate the support. I just don’t want to be coddled. I’m tough enough to watch the torturous activity of them finding the equivalent to the yellow skirt. I want to show them that I can resist even when it’s in my size and on sale, because I already have more than enough. (That’s my little reminder to keep me on track.)

Aside from all the couch potato type activity from our weekend we also found a way to incorporate our love for clothes. We went right into my closet and did some sister sharing. My younger sister made off with several pairs of shoes from me and Uggs from my girlfriend. I was even put in check while we were in the closet about the blue and yellow Rugby shirt that I was wearing that day. The question came up that the shirt looked new, a small insinuation that I was not being completely disciplined. Indeed it was new, never been worn but not purchased in 2010. Fortunately for me I’ve had a few items that I’ve bought over the years yet never worn. With such an ample supply of things in my closet that I’ve never worn that still had the tags on them, I got an opportunity to experience that new clothes feeling!

All of us could say that there were tagged items in our closets that have been there for at least a month. Mine, on the other hand, go back years not weeks or months. But having all this old new stuff in my closet gave me a mixed bag of emotions. Part of me was like cool, new clothes to wear! Then part of me was completely ashamed of the size of the inventory of unworn items. A clear indication that I was buying for the sport of shopping and acquiring without even thinking about whether or not it was something I was going to wear anytime soon. But I’ll admit there was great joy in ripping off the tags and donning items older than three years as brand new.

Prior to my sister weekend I had a business outing to attend last week. Last year that would have called for a new dress without thought. Dedicated to this quest for a year though, I went into the closet in search of an old dress that would have to do. So I looked for something that I considered and old favorite that would be appropriate for a night out with grown ups. I mention this because my closet is full of trendy items straight off the racks of the juniors department. My girlfriend joked but is serious when she said I’ll be ninety and still shopping in the junior’s department. And truth be told, she’s right! I’ll be the trendiest ninety-year old at Bingo night!

Knowing that my choices are now limited to what is already hanging in my closet, I make it a point to go in with the most optimistic outlook and an open mind to maybe do things that I haven’t done before fashion-wise. So a happy Helen immediately went for the three quarter length navy blue chenille turtleneck sweater dress. I’ve only worn this dress once and figured it would be easy, comfortable and corporate at the same time. The weather has been beyond chilly for most of the month and I hate being cold. So this was a perfect option. Now when I say I’ve only worn it once, I have no idea how many years ago that was and whether or not the dress would fit in a way that would be flattering to me now. But just as I parted the dress section in my walk-in I noticed a lonely little purple turtleneck swing dress with three buttons up the back of the neck and matching buttons on the sleeve. And it still had the tags on it.

I got so excited to try on the new dress that was probably four years old. And the good thing about a swing style dress is it will hide any little concerns below the shoulders like a thick waist or wider than usual hips. I felt great about shopping and swapping in my own closet. I was able to wear something new. I gave away items that were new to someone else. And I stayed on track for three weeks in a row! Ahhh…a great time all the way around that included fun with the Girls, some clothes swapping and tag tearing times! The key is to stay on track for another three weeks, three months and throughout the rest of the year. And each week it seems to get a little bit easier.

Fashion Fast Week #2 - The Yellow Skirt Challenge

The bow is barely off the New Year and I’ve already experienced my first real temptation. Wow, it was tough! I was shocked at how hard it hit me and how easily my mind slipped into shopping mode without as much as a flinch. It was an unconscious reaction to an item that caught my eye as I walked into one of my favorite stores. I know, you may wonder why I threw myself into the lion’s den by entering the place to begin with. Well, many of the shops I frequent sell much more than clothes. I didn’t go with the thought of clothing temptation at all. I went to purchase a small appliance and got distracted by my favorite color, yellow. And this was my very first test.

It was a Sunday and it was beyond cold outside so I wasn’t really thinking about venturing out into the brisk weekend air. But I had on my list to get a few things done, which included going to one of my retail hot spots. Like I did hundreds of times in 2009 and even more before last year, I walked in through the clothing department and decided to take a quick look before focusing on the things on my mental shopping list. What do my eyes devour but a whole rack of delicious lemon and buttery yellow clothes! There were blouses, and jackets, and pants, and dresses, and the one that got me into a tailspin of trouble, the perfect yellow skirt.

I could tell this was a new line and collection because they still had every size. So I clicked through the rack of hangers and yes, there it was in my size! Like an old habit I tucked it under my arm and was about to scurry off to the dressing room to try it on when my feet stuck to the floor like I was in quicksand. Nooooooooooooo! Stop right there Missy. You can’t buy this, remember? All kinds of expletives popped in my head as I recalled my decision to go the ENTIRE year of 2010 without buying any new clothes. Ugh, this may be harder than I thought.

Then my mind started to work. OK, how can I work around this? What method can I employ and not break my pack with myself yet still have this skirt? No, this wasn’t the inner workings of a devious mind but one of a person who has taken lemons (yellow ones of course) and made lemonade. So as I started to squeeze the pulp into the pitcher and come up with that cool refreshing way around my predicament I immediately thought of my original partner in crime, my younger sister Neice. That’s it, I’ll call Neice and tell her to buy it for me and keep it for a year. That way I didn’t buy it and I’ll just get it from her and pay her back in January 2011. Brilliant!

Not so brilliant, I realized. Then the other voice in my head, well one of the other voices anyway, reminded me that this would be cheating. Bummer! But I knew this was true. It would be cheating. So I slipped it back onto the rack, did a 180 pivot and walked away with my integrity, the shakes, and no yellow skirt. And with yellow being a hot color this year, I realized that I’m going to meet this challenge on many more occasions. I can’t begin to tell you all how much I really liked and wanted that skirt. And I had my eye on the matching silky blouse. The cut, the length, the fabric and the color, oh that beautiful, rich, full yellow color all made it a perfect complement to my already over abundant closet.
Sigh.

I walked away sad but strong. I don’t own a yellow skirt and at least I wouldn’t be duplicating something. I felt good in knowing that I would have to work at this process and that I went through this realm of emotions and came out safe on the other side of the experience. But how would I do the next time? I think going through this actually helped to build a foundation for the next time. It was such an innate reaction to search for my size and proceed to buy this skirt. Then to remember I can’t was almost like when I was a little girl and I’d pick something off the rack and my father would quickly give me that look that meant put it back.

One of the tougher parts of the whole equation was about the color. Like a butterfly, I’m attracted to bright yellow. It’s hard to miss, which I guess is why road signs are yellow. So now I have to look with caution. Maybe I need signs that say Warning! Clothes for Sale Ahead. At least I need to have that imprinted on my brain.

So how did I find my way out of my yellow skirt funk? I went home and got creative with what I already have. I went shopping in my closet. I put together combinations that I’d never worn before. I pretended they were new and that I was in Helen’s Boutique, trying on things that I may have never seen as compliments to each other. And I even got to wear something new! Don’t tell anyone but there are a few things in my closet that still have the tags on them, from two or more years ago! So that helped me to let go of the yellow skirt and the notion that it won’t be there next year. But I probably felt better about the things I wore last week than I had since back to school outfits in junior high school! One challenge down, many more for me to tackle on the way!

Fashion Fast Week #1 - Here I Go Without Clothes Shopping!

Happy New Year! It’s week one of my Fashion Fast. I’m on a shopping starvation clothing diet going the entire year without buying any new clothes and so far so good! No shirts, blouse, pants, shorts, skirts, tops, coats, jackets, blazers or dress for an entire year. Just accessories because I’m trying to accomplish a realistic goal!

Last fall when I was switching out my summer wardrobe, I reconfirmed that I have way too many clothes for one person. I was desperately seeking space to move one season’s set of shirts and skirts to make room for another. Whoa, I was met with clothing overload challenges. Yes, from time to time I’d practice the art of releasing the old clothes to make room for the new. But somewhere along the way I lost balance. Most likely it resulted from living between two homes.
It started when I was working in New York City and bought an apartment the size of a closet to live in during the week. My primary home was in Pennsylvania and I’d go there on the weekend.

It wasn’t an unusual occurrence to find myself without something that I wanted to wear in New York midweek that was in my closet in Pennsylvania. Besides, both residences required totally different attire, style and comfort. So my solution was to go out and buy another, and another, and if necessary, another. Now this may sound a bit crazy but I also owned a condo near the beach in New Jersey. That meant another closet, another style and set of clothes. I didn’t set out to have this many residences with closets full of clothes but everything in life has its purpose. So after about a year of this three way madness I got a clue and decided it’s a lot easier and more cost effective to live in one place. I picked the place with the most closet space and ended up back in Pennsylvania.

In the process of reeling in my life I cleaned out two condos with two complete wardrobes, moved them both to the closets in Bucks County then rented both New York and New Jersey. It was at that point that I could visibly see that I had tripled my wardrobe. I had six black turtleneck sweaters, six white ones, and two or three of just about every shirt that I like. This is after I donated over an entire closet full of clothes to a women’s clothing charity. All that clearing and I still had more clothes than the five closets could contain. Not to mention that within the walls of these wardrobes there were quite a few items that still had the tags on them!

Now mind you, I’ve always had a rock star appetite for clothes and I think with an outfit perspective when I’m planning what I’ll wear. It’s never just a pair of pants and a shirt. There’s the jacket, the socks, the shoes, the belt, the jewelry, the purse, the hair accessories, and the even the underwear to make the outfit complete! It’s an adventure to get dressed, even if I’m just going to the dentist. I’m not as into fashion as I’m in to costuming my multi-color personas. We, meaning all of me, like to sport a lot of different looks.

As you can see the idea of a fashion fast makes a lot of sense. I have more than plenty and it’s time to practice a little dress up discipline. And here I am decked out in duds that I’ve had for a while and happy to be more efficiently using what I already have. Whereas it was tempting to binge at the end of last year because I knew I was headed to the mall strictly for window shopping this year, I didn’t take that route. I shopped my normal ooh and buy habits. I didn’t over or under do an effort to prepare for this year by adding fourth quarter profits to Marshall’s or Nordstrom’s Rack. I bought a few things but nothing unusual.

Then after the stroke of midnight when the champagne toast was clinked and the confetti was still in my hair, I strolled passed a boutique that was closed until January 2nd and saw the cutest dress in the window. It was at that moment that I realized I am here on this journey and I can’t even think about buying it. And I was fine with that. But let’s see how long that lasts! As for now, it really feels good to know that I’m abundantly clothed, I’m saving a ton of money, and I’m practicing a discipline I’ve never tried in my adult life. And you know what? It feels pretty good.